Anyone who has happened to pass me in the street recently, or (even better) had a chat with me about general goings on and such will no doubt have noticed the rather cynical badge I am currently wearing on my scarf. It's white, with as black stripe running down the middle, and proclaims in large yellow lettering "BAH HUMBUG!", which is ironically decorated with two sprigs of strangely realistic 2D holly.
Now, I do not hate Christmas. Far from it! I love the whole seasonal vibe, the Christmas dinner and (of course) the presents. I just dislike a few things about the run up to it...
Primarily among the things I do not like is the fact that just after I posted my last blog, I noticed that Christmas lights were up on the lampposts of Guisborough near the college. Now, that didn't really bother me too much until I realised that it was early November.
Why?
It is over a month away, you don't need to get excited just yet! For all the failings in the economy this year, the high street shops have still been whipping us up into a snowy frenzy as early as October, encouraging us to go all out anyway. And they will be the first to complain when no-one can afford their 'Super Duper Mega Bike' next year.
Another rather disparaging image I saw recently was in Middlesbrough town centre. As we walked out of Zavvi (completely off topic, but what a stupid name), we encountered a man dressed in red with a big bushy beard handing out Haribos. Yes, it was Santa.
Once we had stopped nit picking at how he wasn't wearing a hat and how he should have boots on and not scruffy leather loafers, it was drawn to my attention that he was wearing a shirt and tie underneath.
This was quickly dismissed out of hand by Saint Nick himself, saying that he was "a gentleman", but it was clear that he had been sent out by some mystery shop to get people all 'Christmassy' to go shopping in their nearby store, clearly proving that these businesses are eager to harness seasonal joy for a quick profit.
And this is the worst thing of all; roughly a thousand times before it is even anywhere near the eventful day, the phrase "I felt all Christmassy!" or "Don't you feel Christmassy?" or "It's just so Christmassy!" will have uttered something close to a million times. 'Christmassy' isn't even a word!
We (as a group of modernistic people) have totally forgotten what Christmas should be; opening presents, eating Christmas turkey, watching The Great Escape and the Queen's speech, Grandad falling asleep in front of the telly and making snow men outside.
And not to mention selling unwanted presents on eBay...
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Is that really what Christmas is about - i thought it was something to do with a baby being born who would grow up and save the world?!!??!?!?!
For a lot of people it is.
But for me it's the slightly more cynical (yet strangely warming) presents and food day.
is that grandad making snowmen WHILE sitting in front of the telly? Because if it is, grandad should be a male and therefore would not be able to do both of those things at the same time as men cannot multi-task which is a well known fact :)