March 2008 Archives

As I unwrap a new toothbrush from its pack it begins to dawn on me just how much waste these things generate.

April is the cruellest month’




. T.S. Eliot (the Waste Land ),
The rancid stale odour of the dressing room at Thompson Park, the smell of ‘ralga the horse linament,sweaty socks, BO, and the cheerful ironic swearing banter of the team preparing for the mental shock of being selected or rejected.
The team is announced without too much discussion, sometimes it might be the eleven who show up or the one’s who are fit enough to play. Nobody likes being a sub as it has all the disadvantages like standing in the cold.
Taking to the cold hard boney pitch, stepping carefully over the dog muck and trying to get the old stiff limbs working again.
‘Right Jimmy when you get the ball, run with it and tak them on’ is the only tactical advice I receive, ‘Noo gan on get stuck in!’ There’s a clatter of studs as the teams run out to take to the park.

The opposition take to the pitch in lurid clashing purple shirts and yellow shorts, all shapes all sizes, hairy legs the lot. A pierced empty whistle starts the game.
‘Wor keeper Ken, leaning against the post in a familiar pose, is suddenly called into action, carefully knicking his tab and throwing it down he sprints to the edge of the penalty area, to try to intercept the fast wind assisted ball.

Running from standing to full pace, he collides with the nippy winger who was just a yard too fast for him. They roll over in a tangle of limbs and groans, bodies locked in a panjandarum of slow motion. Cries ring out across the wind swept park, ‘foul! Penalty, Referee !’ The slow motion on the ball is enough to roll it into the empty unguarded net. At last the ref arrives, late, and decides to point to the penalty spot. There is argument and discussion as groups of players offer their own interpretation of the event. ‘Now shurrup aaall of yous’ the ref intervenes.

Last year we had the P.R.D. Personal Review Dialogue. Instead of the traditional evening format, a meeting was set up between parents, child and one allocated teacher during the day for approximately twenty minutes.

This year, when I am handed a letter with tear off slip from the school for me to sign and return (a day before the event I might add) I see we are back to the old system of queuing to see ten teachers...

Is it possible to build an ecologically-friendly house without leaving a manky big carbon footprint?

No.

Electrical and electronic waste (Waste electrical and electronic equipment, aka WEEE) is increasing by around 5% each year, making it the fastest growing waste stream in the UK.
It is important that WEEE does not end up in your bin.

One of the most popular sights in nature is that of the lesser-spotted Bill Oddie or, to give its Latin name, the Bilious Oddicus.

The species is as common as horse droppings, at home in varied habitats, and can be seen in all parts of the country.

But don't let its frequent appearances distract from the appeal of this strange creature

The Book Group I belong to is a group with a difference.

When we met to review Zorba the Greek we had a full scale Greek evening with traditional Moussaka, Greek salad and Ouzo me Meze. We forgot about the Greek background music, however, someone did bring along the Grease soundtrack instead...

When we reviewed Peter Kay's book, The Sound of Laughter, we pretended we were at The Phoenix Club and had a pub quiz complete with twiglets, peanuts and sausage rolls.

FOR quite some time Sport England has been trying to unify martial arts under National Governing Bodies. It is an uphill struggle and one imagines a thankless task.

Their aim is to bring unification among the disparate groups that make up our world (who, let’s admit generally can’t agree on anything!).

Sport England believe it would make their task of over-seeing martial arts easier and allow the public a one contact point where they could check instructor qualifications and insurance etc.
In the sports martial arts arena it would also mean that there was a unified team drawn from all clubs and groups and not just a select few that often happens at present.

This means, for example, that the Great Britain Karate team could draw from a wider pool of talent.

All good stuff – I’m sure you’ll agree?

But I have reservations about this long-term goal.

Former Newcastle councillor Lembit Opik is a man of letters. Most of them are zzzzzz's.

Lembit was so underwhelming in the BBC's Sports Relief Does The Apprentice that it was like watching the snooz.

From the salubrious village (Glanton) in Northumberland, a small band of pilgrims gathered to take to the road in search of the man whose very songs and lyrics would illuminate our lives .


..’you hardly ever saw Grandaddy down here, he only came to town about twice a year’

..